Every human being, each one of us, you, me, our children, our friends–we all need help for something at some point, whether we realize or acknowledge that fact. No reason to be shy, or be ashamed. We lose no part of our humanity or our independence when we need, and when we seek, that help.
Very importantly, we should never forget that more often than we realize, we ourselves may be, and indeed are, the help for someone else.
Advice is just one type of help. Advice can be about what we wear, what we eat and drink (and how much of either), how we make friends and who those are, and where we meet our friends for fun. People may give us advice on getting jobs, what religion we should follow (or if we should follow any at all)–the list of what constitutes advice is endless.
We may need advice for a specific situation, or, we may seek advice about a general aspect of our lives. Some people seem to seek advice to get through what might be an ordinary day. Some people seem to seek advice in crisis or emergency. Some people seem to seek advice while simply in the midst of a mutual sounding-board conversation.
It is comforting to know that there will be people in our lives who seem to hold answers for whatever is going on. It is empowering to know that we can often provide advice for someone else. The most important thing to hold to is that, no matter the source or form of the advice, the person receiving the advice should, and must, make a decision independently and confidently. Sometimes we give advice. It can be eminently satisfying, when our listener makes the decision we think they should make. But it can also be a wonderful experience to watch someone listen to our advice, but make their own decisions, just as we might do. Sometimes we are given advice, and we are grateful. But perhaps the person doesn’t really know our situation, so we make our own choices. After all, that’s part of being independent and self-sufficient. Sometimes the difficulty of a situation prevents us from making an independent decision, and we really need advice that we can then follow. That is completely acceptable as well.
The most important thing to remember is that each of us is capable, completely, utterly capable, of making a decision. Nobody has a magic key or wand, that will solve our problems and transform us utterly into some new person. The reason for that is that no advice or wisdom can make a difference to us unless, and until, we take it in, consider it, weigh it, ponder it and then apply it. No matter the advice, no matter the source, no matter the certainty with which the advice is given, no matter how uncertain we may be about a situation–advice should never be blindly heeded. Nobody should have that much power over us. Even the Deity in whom many people around the world believe can only have the power over us that we allow–and even if we consider Divine Wisdom to be ultimate, we still have to take the step to apply and use that wisdom into our lives.
Just because someone or Someone tells you your life will be transformed and transcended does not mean it will be so. First, you have to decide if that advice fits to your life. YOU decide for yourself. Even if the person seems utterly amazingly certain and sweetly confident the answer is staring you in the face. That does not mean you must accept it or life is over. It may indeed be right.
But you first have to decide the advice, the sage wisdom, to be right, for you.
If and when you decide it is right, you next must decide how it applies in your life. Is all of it, or just some part of it, necessary to change things for you. How much of a change do you actually need. Maybe you need advice about the kind of advice you are given, and that should be perfectly all right to seek as well.
You and I are perfectly capable of making decisions. If we cannot make decisions, then even seeking advice is something we are not doing. If we know enough to seek advice, we are already capable.
Be proud of being capable. Be aware you already hold all the keys you need. Be aware that no matter who tells you what, the strength and confidence are in your hands, and in yours alone. Nobody else can transform you. Nobody else holds those keys. If it is about you, then keep it about you.
Seek advice to be sure. We all need it and it is okay to want advice. But once you have it, Make the Decision for yourself. Always.
You can make the decision, simply because you are perfectly able to do so.